While it is often said that women are better off getting married at a young age preferably in their 20s, over time we have seen how the authenticity of this popular opinion has been brought to question by men of today. Though psychological maturity tends to set in for some at a very young age, some Nigerian men of today feel that with society evolving at a very fast pace with loads of external factors influencing today’s youths, the ideal benchmark for a lady to get married is above age 25. Before we look into the reasons why some of these Nigerian men feel the way they do, let’s briefly look at why men marrying ladies below age 25 shouldn’t really be an issue.
We all know that the 20s is a time of self-discovery for most individuals, male and female and in the course of climbing up the age ladder, experience through life tends to shape who you are or who you become eventually. For some, psychological maturity comes much earlier than expected and these young folks who fall into this category most times are seen as unique and accepted by the older generation. For them, marriage might come easily compared to those who don’t.
Still on choosing the right age for ladies to get married, studies have shown that it is good for ladies in their 20s to get married early. According to research done by Huffington’s post, ladies getting married at ages between 20 and 25 was more ideal than above age 25. Unfortunately, some Nigerian men think or feel differently and didn’t hesitate to raise the question on social media.
Recently, A Nigerian man warned his fellow men to stay clear of ladies aged 25 and below. He claimed they had a lot going on for them at this period and that the age bracket was the peak of attention period for many females and they usually have their hearts flooded and all over the place. He went on to warn men never to play themselves by trying to force a serious relationship or marriage out of ladies at that age. As expected, the post generated a lot of comments which surprisingly supported the motion given by the Nigerian man although some begged to differ. See the post and reactions below;
Looking at Magani’s post, he mentioned two very important words; WISDOM and MENTAL stability. Though they are important factors to consider when choosing the right partner, I believe it is safe to say that these two qualities in its entirety do not really have anything or much to do with the age of the subject matter.
In Nigeria, women are laden with responsibility at a very young age although many homes today don’t really follow this trend used by our fathers of old. They are taught how to keep a home and treat the opposite sex before and after marriage. Even in the unity schools and other private institutions that uphold quality education, ladies are taught the very essence of being a woman at an early stage.
Though the point above is quite solid, you will agree that many today’s ladies between age 20 -25 fit perfectly into the group of those who have not understood wisdom and it’s precepts and are not mentally stable. Truth is that many young ladies of today go for the fast lane. Unlike the older generation who had lesser influence from peers thanks to the absence of most social media platforms, the young ones of today, are easily moved by what is been displayed on these platforms.
These days, a typical young lady is after material gains, she wants the expensive hair, looks, life and all other vanities just to live up to status quo and impress her peers. Fully educated or not, the impact of the four walls of a classroom does little or nothing to her psychologically as most of them are focused solely on meeting the required CGPA not putting into consideration the saying that goes thus; During your education, your school should pass through you as you pass through it as well. The problem here is that even though they get the opportunity to interact with older and experienced minds, many of them don’t see these older folks as worthy enough to learn from because of the stereotypical thought that they don’t belong in an institution at that age. In the long run, the result is seen as the wise ones who graduate after learning one or two ideologies of life from the older ones tend to be more mature and have a better way of handling challenges life throws at them unlike those who weren’t smart enough.
Sadly, the majority of ladies who leave school at a young age mostly between 20-25, without much exposure or interaction with older minds, end up becoming unwise and unprepared mentally to deal with the idea of marriage and what it entails. They have to experience life in another dimension from 25 above after they have learnt a thing or two from their past mistakes. Unfortunately, ladies of this sort make up a larger percentage and when men go after them for marriage they get their fingers burnt.
You see, in general, while delaying marriage has advantages -a lower divorce rate, higher income for women and fewer and less intense arguments between spouses, studies show there also may be benefits to tying the knot before age 30. So, whether it is above or below age 25, the right question we should ask is this, ARE YOU READY? My advice to men is this; If she fits your choice of a wife, marry her. if she doesn’t and you are willing to work on her patiently then wait. No one is perfect, so there should be no reason why ladies who fall within age bracket 20-25 should not be considered for marriage. After all, the job of an ideal partner is to help your spouse and since you feel you are qualified to be called a partner, you should strive to make her into the woman you want her to be.